My world as kid was one of sinful and twisted mirage what appeared as human responses of love and nurturing was nothing more then Black Ice Affect
I learned at very tender age that my colossal nightmare was just beginning and mommy dearest was yet to inflict “ITs” sinister games that no one should ever be purged into endless torment .
Fucking Sadistic Suka
As I mention its as if the Basement of Secrets became solitude of silence to which there was no escaping from God forbid I scream for help which never would come. I was told that the more I would try to fight or not accept that I deserve this or even thinking of telling my Dad ” I was told many times that my life meant nothing and “IT” gave it to me and it was hers to snuff out ,when out live my purpose . Always would think what did I do to deserved so much hate , rage projected at me ….
Many times as they say you feel like you are walking on egg shells for me it was shattered glass walking around with ticking time bomb awaiting to cease the moment to explode all “ITs” a mass of destruction projected at me trying reduced me to nothing. So many times when I thought when would this nightmare spawn from the demon seed of Hell. No one could hear my cries there would be all sudden a Raven appear at that small transparent window never knew what that meant , still don’t but its said in many cultures the Raven is Guardian watchful Protector maybe that was my Father’s spirit or someone watching over me. Letting me know I am not alone and that God feels my suffering and absorbing my agony .
Mommy dearest and what I was being inflicted and persecuted by “IT” I thought maybe if I behave better and listen it wouldn’t be so cruel as youngin you always looked to be loved and have arms to shelter you from wickedness and scary things . The affection I was given became as I saw to be “ITs” compassion Mommy dearest was just my captor of hate and violence but also allowed me to be sexually abuse I was ten when I first endured what that was, and had my wings of innocents rip away as if I was nothing meant nothing ….Ironic thing is my own abuser saw me more has human being and I was grateful HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT !!!!!!!
They say broken wings mend in time that means fuck all because the truth is those wings of having your innocents ripped out of you and reduced to ashes are gone forever.