I use to think that my house was unbreakable “because no matter what, I was strong and persevere. Now not realizing my solid foundation was eroding, beneath my feet sinking further into chaos of tormenting dismay. My foundation appears solidify and intimidating to those that are in my pack know the real me, I am sinking deeper and deeper trying to struggle to keep my head above water.
When the precipitation comes and washes away all the filth and erosion anchoring its decay to sound structures. In glimmer of small sense of hope is given back to you.Appearences are very deceiving that foundation we build to protect what matters most not allow our frailty to show what is truly revealed. You tell yourself in the mirror the image starring back at you” but days go by each reflection what you see is less of what use be piece by piece I’m losing me. When I look into face of glass there is only a state of Grey Eyes. No matter what I do to try fucking fight to keep me from letting go of the Real Me I feel as my house that once stood strong and proud.
No longer shows , filled with uncertainty and grey matter my mind is full of vast complexity but also takes me to depths where someone throws a pebble and everything that built my house to stand tall with honour and pride begins to show it’s true face and everything is crumbling around me and there nothing I can do to stop the erosion from decaying.
Some days I think that my foundation is repairing and being built up to be stronger only to see that a small stone could cause it come crumbling down caving in. So there is nothing but rubble of broken memories are left smouldering in the debris.
So why do I keep fighting to find myself and rebuild my house even though that there is nothing but Grey Matter that consumed.
Because I Fucking Matter and I Want the Real Me to Come back again!