Feeding the Darkness

Black Ice Peak

Knowing the Air fills my lungs with each breath, I know I am Alive,”

I stand and look up from afar

At your highest peak thinking, I will see you in pinnacle form someday soon

Only to know that is a silhouette of deception

Every time I execute my actions into conviction, enduring, I falter, grasping at what is suppose reinforced rock only to realise its black ice

The more I fight and stare at the ugly face of adversity that has throttled me into this Hell ,Harder I thrashed back into a violent reality with loaded consequences

But know this no matter how much you try to suppress me or break me, send me crashing to my shattered knees

I will never stop trying to ascend to reach your highest peak …ever

Defeat doesn’t define you, how you respond to adversity does finding yourself ascending to the peak of a mountain doesn’t come without costly sacrifices… The question is, are you willing to step out and take risks or too afraid of falling and lost before you even ascended to the mantle?

Rise Above or Fall


Feeding the Darkness

The Kryptonite of Lies (Hero)

So many runs in fear and scorn to embrace the Darkness but Raw truth is it lives within whether you accept or denied it” E.O.S

This why so many afflict accountability from the Hero to Villain because it’s all the Villain fault they are so evil” !!!

Yet if you look at many so-called heroes there only a few I see as whole and most humanistic filled with Dark intentions and flaws.

The Primal Predator “was driven by pure Killer Instinct to consume the Humanity within the Man

Wolverine: One of the most chaotic characters because everything Logan came across trying to embrace what it meant to live truly the primal Predator inside wouldn’t allow him that correlation of warmth and euphoria. The Human elements of Logan had many flaws and demons that consume him. The stained lives the Beast would take ripped the blood stain with the innocents wipe from the face of the Earth permanently. Nothing more than agonizing, tormenting shattered fragments of constant remind of the mass destruction Wolverine left in his wake.

Yes, he slayed and massacred the wicked, sadistic, but Innocent were also victims of smouldering ashes of fractured wounds from Rage that consumed him. That Beast would never leave him to rest in peace until he breathes his last breath into his lungs and Life filled with endless suffering has run its last testament

The excruciating torment the Human ailments within him ravish his every shattered memory

In the end of his last chapter, knowing that his time was coming to ending. The Wolverine came alive for one last wage of War so he would inflict all whom stood in his way with his monstrosity of the rage burned deep within.

Losing the love of his life, Jean Grey (Dark Phoenix)

The Night is Darkest just before Dawn

The Dark Knight – Outta all the super heroes he is most human characteristics- lost his parents to violence witness their murders in front of his tender eyes. The state of Violence and Chaotic Conditions within Bruce Wayne moulded him to becoming a Symbol in which adversaries trembled with fear at very sight. He became more than just a man as man he had weaknesses. Dawning of the Cape and Mask made him Symbolic Reflection not just the Night Keeper to watch over to those whom preyed on the weak but Guardian Protector

(The Dark Knight)

That strengthened and forge him through dips in the Fire into becoming the Dark Knight, but does he always do the right thing or what is just ?

His Uncle Ben said this” With great power comes great responsibility ”

Spiderman: Before radioactive spider that ended up mutating his DNA and genetic sequence bit him, he was just that nerdy kid that always got pick on by them when he was infused with his powers. Peter Parker could inspire himself to be more, to make world around him a better place.

Does he always do the right thing no but does the Just and righteous will to act

This still reigns true and shows that without Accountability there is no Conviction

As Villain which I am through in and out as Joker said” Every one goes looking for monster under their bed but they live within”

Another Joker stroke of genius is this:

Why should I apologise for the Monster you made me ”

I am Not a Monster just ahead of Curve Hahaha

So the fact “is when it comes to the Hero vs Bad Guy” nothing is as it seems in black and white, in fact many shades of grey. The difference is unlike Hero lives in masquerade, the Villain doesn’t be something they’re not “deny their Darkest intentions of who they really are.


Feeding the Darkness

The Porcelain Doll

The Porcelain Doll

She is admired by millions they see her smile only if they knew the forbidden truth

She has radiance from her glowing skin and her smile is worth millions, only to know the concealment that it hides the Raw Truth within

Chorus: why won’t I just give in to my demons and let them consume what is fucking point of living anyway… when I am dying inside my reflection is decaying mask I wear

She’s terrified, decaying inside disgust by her mere reflection shattered image living a mirage the very fragments resembled her vulnerability this Porcelain Doll would shattered into thousand pieces losing her mind

Chorus: why won’t I just give in to my demons and let them consume what is fucking point of living anyway… when I am dying inside my reflection is decaying mask I wear

Why won’t you just let me die, so I can go lay in waste into shatter pieces instead of being numb continued living a lie masquerading as Porcelain Doll

Fuck the World I am done, don’t want this fucking pain no more that’s eating me alive inside

Time for the Porcelain Doll to be no more fuck the world you won’t see in place where I will be no more

Fuck the World I’m done.. you thought I was unbreakable I am just the lost, fragile Porcelain Doll ApeX

She is stuck between the dying light and reality, well wanting to rip out of your skin. The symbolism that others are envious and wanting very sight of her reflection is decaying and dying vilify state of wanting to be in agony no more.


Act of Valour

The Day Skies Reign in Blood

For many there was no saying no to take up a stand to fight for your freedoms and sovereignty to be a nation full of pride.

So they took to the skies and to corrugated beaches fill with empty silence of decay, not aware of the hell of dismay awaited them with open arms to unbearable thirsts to watch you bleed and your lives snuffed out.

Knowing that for many they would never see home or taste Mom’s homemade cooking again they choose to act in valour to stand against the unjust to let tyrants know that we will not go quite into the night and stop fighting for our right to live free. November 11th marks the day when remember ultimate sacrifice those brave men and women that wage in the gates of Hell to fight the right many nations have today.

Freedom is never free it always comes with cost and never leaves you unscathed with the scars physical and hidden one’s penitence you endured all in the name of Freedom and Honour.


Act of Valour

Ghost of Shadows from the Fallen

This is Tribute I write in Honour of My Father and others that make sacrifices to rid the world of evil cockroaches and why we have the freedoms we do.

Thus We go into the ghost of shadows of the forever night

Those of us will remain no more the blood that was shed. For other’s tears will be led by sorrow our stories will never be forgotten.

We made a cry through the night to stare into thee unknown abyss of darkness, to vow never to be silent or astray away nor abandon. For bare to bring birth of enlightenment in eternal peace, We Remember Always. (ApeX)



Feeding the Darkness

The Awakening of All Hallows Eve

You look, and stare at the monstrosity eyes hoping there’s sign of Life where there is nothing

Only primal image lurking in the distant shadows of death

That knows no sense of human nature of what it means to feel a living soul of the beating from quaking heart pulsing

It appears to you as flesh and blood there is connection to correlating the grasping from caressing touch

The Primal urged inflicting mass destruction, violent mayhem suffocating any glimpse of hope

Grasping the serrated blade in its hand overwhelm with wanting to penetrate every aspect of your terrifying senses ,

Climaxing the Primal Predator lusts to watch the blood ceased from your veins is so unbearable the arousal is taking over from all its senses.

As the knife thrashed deeper into your into your fragile flesh as razor schism through hot butter ripping your soul out over and over again

Watching as your legacy drains and soaking the life outta of you to be no more

The tantalising fear praying you will awake from this visceral nightmare

Only to realise it’s , only matter of when before your soul will be castrated in tormenting agony

Where no matter how much you scream is paralysing silent terror, no one will ever hear your last words of fear

Awaiting to shattered what remains of your lost decaying soul is the belly of Hell’s Fire

Death has come to aspirate all reflections of joy and emulating light that fills you with life to blanket and consume you with welcoming of the Hand of Death

The dawn of seeing the light will never come to pass for you for all eternity the air once filled your lungs and your heart full of Life now is disintegrated as lifeless discarded organ

The Spawn of the deepest trenches of Brimstone has come to unleash its acts of absolute, brutal affliction from its cerebral nightmare


Feeding the Darkness

Deadly Temptation

You look with amazement knowing how close your’re staring at death face to face exotic but forbidden to caress . A touch so soft but loaded with deadly consequences.

Waiting in anticipation the Reaper lurks in the shadows of chaos, dismay the pheromones of intoxication from her forbidden essence awake your senses wanting to taste her. Unknown to you she is cocked and loaded with fatality” a woman that memorize you with her scent luring you into her twisted game of seduction. Be careful what you thirst to desire , some vintages there is no second chances of coming back from redemption.

What you desire and envious to have be careful what you wish for some forbidden fruits carry loaded consequences. Women know how to play and dance the sway of seduction to seducing your darkest and deepest desires of raw euphoria. She magnetized you with her eyes as Cobra being serenaded by the snake charmer. She is anticipating wrapping her coils around you squeezing every breath from your being.

The taste of her luscious , moist wet lips make your body quake with erotic euphoria wanting to caress every inch of her body starting with her lips working down to grasp her silky legs that feel like the been nurtured by the essence of the sun. But what you fail to realized this is sensation that there is no coming back from” to touch her so gracefully means your fate is certainly sealed.

Kiss of Death Awaits You


Act of Valour

Binding Blood

Die for everything or live for nothing in disgrace 

Only, a true warrior is willing to sacrifice for another… Through their life or death they will always keep watch over their pack, fear is not what others should worry about but the killer instinct that drives them to strike without mercy into the hearts of their adversaries. For the greatest threat to anyone that opposes them is the love and unbreakable bond that ties the binding of the pack.


Loyalty, Strength, Honour, Valour: This is my creed and my conviction of validation” for those who are in my pack I remain The Guardian Protector whether through life or through death.


Feeding the Darkness

The Shadow of Deception

When you cross the line of restitution” for absolution there is no coming back from your state of morality everything you done to remain true, When you see what reflection mirror’s stares into your eyes .

Who Are You Really

Everything you seem to touch no matter your intentions turns to venom, when you look and see yourself there is nothing. The costs you have accumulated from your voracious actions that will always be cocked with loaded consequences. Every action there is recoil effect which the Reaper anticipates your agonizing demise of suppression, so play the game that stacked the odds against you.

Many of us start out as honourable with valour but costs from your deadly actions will always infuse those closest to you with the most scars” You say I am doing it for the right reasons” the truth is… you’re lying to yourself how much selfish, sadistic son of bitch you really are. You say I do what I do to protect what matters most or to rid the world of evil.

Once you have penetrated your code accountability “You’re gone pass the point of return that everything that comprised your core is met with eroding decay of existence. When you look back on how many lives you shattered into nothing ripping families apart, your hands are stained with blood consumed by you as you take and take not giving a fuck. How could I’ve cause so much wreckage and burn so many bridges, correlation to the point you do not understand?

“Who the Fuck you are anymore” all that remains from your destruction is a trail smouldering ashes of mass the lives you taken. Your existence is haunting to you the wake of death from shattered reflections you tried to convince others you were genuine, but you are no more than a shadow that puts on masquerade to feed your lust for power and take whatever you desire.

You’re nothing but a Shadow of Deception loaded with deadly consequences of a mass destruction.


Act of Valour

The Legacy of the All Blacks

In hundred ten years the All Blacks have only lost 10 times” did they really lose or did they just run outta of time.

Rugby is very much a cerebral game of skill and sheer will ” not for faint of heart there is no surrender on the pitch, just like in life you slice and slash your perseverance to execute your actions into conviction. Without heart.

whakahonore ( Honour ) ngakau toa (Heart of Valor)

The legacy of the Maori warriors lives on in the blood lines of Rugby spirit and forged into essence of the people each time the All Blacks step out onto the pitch and pay their respect to their ancestors preform the Kapa O pango or Ka Mate they will always remember how enriched the blood flows through their veins with tingling intensity

Kei te wehi to tatou whanau kia kaua e tetahi e noho tonu

Our dominace fears no one always remain

Ka ora te regacy ki runga ake ake i te toto o nga tupuna

Feeding the Darkness, Lacing Venom

Venom in My Eyes

Venom in My Eyes

This song hits so close to home for me it’s not even fucking funny do you see me laughing

I didn’t come to show you peace because that just be a fucking lie I came to rip your souls out you thinking I am fucking playing the ApeX ready to fight live or die doesn’t matter anyway long as I dragged you down hell with me

I got my mind spinning in all directions everyone say to you to do this and you need to get over yourself if only it was that fucking simple.

You have no idea the demons that breathe inside of me wanting to come out and play just thirsting with blood lust to get out and fucking feast all those that tried to fucking crucified me

Chorus: When will this goddam roller coaster end what is the point fucking fighting anyways, my demons keep telling me without us you wouldn’t be alive ungrateful bastard

I know my time will come when Reaper will collect his bounty on my soul proclaim; I have been fighting to keep my head above every day I don’t who the fuck I am anymore

The venom that fills me, coursing through my veins all twisted up inside fuels my rage for those you thought it was smart to fuck me ,were greatly mistaken now it’s time to pay when my demons come out it’s game over for your soul

I am the rage the eye of the storm there will be no mercy coming for you, Reaper’s hand has been set cannot wait to watch all you motherfuckers die

Chorus: When will this goddam roller coaster end what is the fucking point of fighting anyways, my demons keep telling me without us you wouldn’t be alive ungrateful bastard

When will be the time I will sleep and hide my demons back inside watching as pendulum swings until you ceased to breathe no more ApeX

ApeX 12/22/20

State of Chaos 2 Head Roller Coaster

Desolation of Life’s Uncertainty


My life is full of so much uncertainty going in so many directions when will this state of chaos ever stop

The hell I’ve walked through is very surreal no one should ever suffer as I did so many walked inside the gates of brimstone many have their stories left as distant unfinished memories that will never be heard

Chorus: I am alive and live my life by each day by day, I know the shadows well that surround and comfort me, I still breathe life into my lungs knowing the scars I wear the wounds always remain from burning distain from wicked sins that were done to me

Smell of the ocean mist fill my senses, the waves crashing up against the shore torn inside I know my demons well as they know me, a place where the darkness surrounds me is where I call home

Chorus: I am alive and live my life by each day by day, I know the shadows well that surround and comfort me, I still breathe life into my lungs knowing the scars I wear the wounds always remain from burning distain from wicked sins that were done to me

We know who we are they lived inside of me and will not be denied

The sense of madness surrounds us will ultimately collide with mass destruction of gravity as the Joker says” Gravity is like madness all it needs is a push”


Feeding the Darkness

Shadows of the Broken

Shadows of the Broken

When did my life get so fucked up to the point of no return where did it go so wrong I am so lost within

I take a look into my life and see all the broken pieces I am trying to keep together every day seems be getting harder to breathe the weight of world is trying to suffocate me into fading, dying light

Chorus: Everywhere I go the shadows follow, my soul is on fire fighting with all my might to stay alive until the end won’t ever give in, there is no surrendering my soul

When I others looked at me, all they see is the mask I show terrified that if I was to allow them to see beneath the masquerade, it would cast me into the broken shadows where the lost souls call home

Shadows of chaos is where I call home has been this way for so long every day I walking into the streets see all the strangers passing me by so many places so faceless where only ashes remain so many lives broken and defeated

I used to look at life so high wanting to be more, wanting to become more everywhere I go now the shadows follow me every day I am trying to keep real pieces of me

Reflection I see mirroring back at me is lost has no sense of purpose now the shadows of the broken is where all the lost souls like me call home (ApeX)

The masks many of us wear is not to hide yourself but to conceal real you beneath the masquerade of deception hidden in the shadows. Not to expose your broken pieces that reveal the scars, not the smile everyone thinks is a sediment of joy.


Christmas Craic and warming moments

Merry Grumpy Christmas

Merry Grumpy Christmas

Dashing through the No in one horse open…. NO

Let it snow No …no lights for you show because I buried them in the snow… Yes Hahaha

I hate everybody and their Christmas cheer take all trees down, use them for wood in the fireplace …. Hahaha

Take all the stockings, throw them away, and burn them in fireplace

All the fields we go, No

Dashing through the sleigh, Seir fell out all the way now her face is buried deep in the snow HAHAHAHA

Season Greetings You fucking humans I left dead mouse on your bed for you

Merry Grumpy Christmas to all a good night I am done singing this stupid song Christmas cheer … God help me if I have to do this again next year ApeX